The Freedom of Openness

John was baptised at the weekend, and shared some of his story which you can read about below.

Over the course of the last week he's encountered God and heard God speaking to him with a renewed clarity.

Despite not coming from a Christian family background, some how there’s just been God connections and promptings through out most of my life.

From early school days I was good mates with a guy called Nath, and looking back his parents did a superb job of initially connecting me with church.

I really got thinking about God when camping with those guys at an old Christian event called Stoneleigh, where apparently crazy people seemed to be shaking and falling on the floor all around me.  Back then, I didn’t really know what it was all about, but was absolutely certain there was something quite significant in it and that perhaps the people weren’t all that crazy.  Ultimately, there was part of me which wanted to be a part of it.

As the years passed I had some pretty specific encounters with God, and involvement with our church youth group developed into more than just a social thing, but throughout it all a lot of my hang ups meant there was lots of do, do, do and driven-ness, but perhaps not so much of God or his plan and heart for me.

There’s been lots of key moments along the journey that’s followed since – some of which have been just this past week, but one period that’s worth highlighting is the trips I made to Africa, and how through everything, and more specifically everyone that I encountered there something of God’s heart – and also my flaws – became really apparent.  The humility and authenticity of people I met there spoke volumes to me.

Some of that a couple of summers ago, contrasted with uni before and after – a mix of good and bad, serving God but also in many respects being fundamentally flawed.  But, over the last few months a few more things have clicked into place and the God jigsaw is looking a bit more like a complete picture.

As so, last weekend this led to my decision to get baptised.   Particularly over the last week I’ve really felt God speaking to me, and He’s clearly had his finger on quite a few issues and areas of my life, which I’ve never really confronted myself, yet alone been addressed before.

As for the context to that; my journey to God was pretty gradual and for years I’ve struggled working out much of who I am and direction in life, whilst also grappling with some of who God is and some of my expectations of Him, of church and also my understanding of how God perceives me, all of which at times have been way off the mark.

Although it sounds stupid, to a large extent I’ve put off being baptised for ages.  It’s felt like I’ve not really ‘been ready’ to get baptised, or more that I could be some one much better and God would want that before I made a commitment to Him publicly. 

The encounters I’ve had with God and the conversations I’ve had with people over the last few days have really made me re-think a whole load of that.  There’s no doubt I’m still carrying a whole load of baggage, with plenty of unresolved issues, but to use a bit of a cheesy Christian phrase, last week somehow God’s allowed something to drop from my head to my heart, through a bit of an emotional roller coaster of a journey.

Having shared some pretty deep stuff with a few people, who’ve been absolutely superb, I’ve come to realise something of the fact that their continued acceptance of me actually reflects something of how God views us too.  And so, despite the flaws, the faults and the baggage, I’ve got a renewed confidence about who I am in God. 

I guess writing this my challenge to you would be to remember that God is God – He knows everything, whether you’d want Him to or not, and in reality He still respects you and loves you for it.  For me, there’s been something quite refreshing and releasing about chatting through some of my most difficult issues for the first time.  As you read this, maybe God’s convicting you to work out who it is you trust, who you’d feel comfortable talking to, and what issues you maybe need to get off your chest to help forward your walk with God.

Posted by: John Amery on Monday Feb 18th, 2008

Comments

Matt Page writes:

That's great John. Really encouraging.

Matt

...left on Tuesday Feb 19th, 2008

Sam Huggill writes:

Thanks for sharing your story John, it's great to see God at work in so many lives across our community and to celebrate it together!

...left on Wednesday Feb 20th, 2008

Sarah Crouch writes:

amery ur a flippin legend!

...left on Monday Feb 25th, 2008

Kate Elsworth writes:

Wonderful :)

...left on Wednesday Feb 27th, 2008

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