Encounter Testimony: Phil

I went on the Encounter Weekend very aware of some of the scars in my life that I needed healing from – what I had no idea of was just how God would come through for me.

When I was 14, I went on a geography field trip, and was bullied by people who I thought were supposed to be my friends. They made up some stories about me, and twisted my words and misquoted me. I found myself unable to build normal friendship because I was so aware of what the bullies had said to me.

At the age of 25 I still found myself conscious of my image and the impact of the words spoken about me many years ago. I continually seek approval and affirmation, and am incredibly oversensitive to how girls perceive me. I now see that my response to this has been to try and make myself successful and so I find myself continually tired from working long hours. I have worked hard at presenting a successful image to society.

During the Encounter Weekend, I allowed God to take me back to a scene I thought I had completely erased from my memory; the bus trip back home from a field trip. Earlier on the trip one of the boys had dared another to rub an eraser over a small area on the back of his hand. This removed several layers of skin and left him with a horrible black scar. They decided that they were going to rub this eraser all across the back of my neck. At this point I had given up trying to fight them, and just accepted that I was going to end up with a huge black scar all across my neck, and resigned myself to the humiliation that even after the trip was over, everyone would be able to see the scar and know that I had been bullied.

The most amazing thing was that, despite all their efforts, it never did produce a scar. I never knew why, I was too tired to question it, and just glad that I wouldn’t have to explain to my parents what had happened. This weekend I found out why I did not have a scar. I saw Jesus on that bus with me, with his hand across the back of my neck, protecting me and taking the punishment on himself.

I cannot put into words the love that I feel, that at a time before I even knew who Jesus was, my saviour was there with me, actively involved in my life, and stepped in at the time when I had given up all hope of being able to fight them off.

I am now able to forgive those who tormented me, and the need to seek approval or worry about how girls will perceive me is gone – Jesus loves me, and for the first time since becoming a Christian, I really, really feel it and know it.

God did so much in me over the weekend, that I could end up writing a small book to try and explain it all. But I want to share this story for all those who have not yet seen how God is at work in their lives. At the start of the weekend we were asked to draw a picture of where God was in our lives. My picture was of God up in heaven, above the earth, looking down on me – now I feel him there as someone who walks along side me, and wonder just how many other times has he been there and intervened in my life and I have just missed it.

I would like to finish this piece by saying that, I have always found it very frustrating when talking to Christian friends about issues I am struggling with, and they reply ‘Phil, what you need to know is that Jesus loves you’. I had read that in the Bible too, and was irritated that the point of the issue was never addressed. Right now I feel really loved by Jesus, and I love him too. Somehow this makes all the torment and all the lost years of friendships all right, I am o.k. with that and I am free.

Posted by: Philip Morton on Friday May 16th, 2008

Comments

Darren Allwright writes:

hallelujah! thats an amazing testimony phil! praise god! im so pleased for you and excited about the future! i see your genuine love for god!

...left on Saturday May 24th, 2008

Rich Wilson writes:

wow, what a difference a weekend can make. awesome. well done Phil

...left on Wednesday May 28th, 2008

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