A Call to Purity

This article has been a long time in coming, I hope to express something of what God has put on my heart, which I believe is part of our challenge as Open Heaven.

This started for me at “Encounter” 2007. I was on my DNA year so for most of the weekend I was in the kitchen ( enjoying it thoroughly). I ventured in to a meeting at the end of the weekend and was privileged to hear some people’s testimonies.  This led into prayer and during this time a girl in the church stood up to apologise to the men of the church for how she and women had behaved to them. This was quickly followed by an apology from the men of the church to the women.

I feel like this time was inspired by the Holy Spirit and God’s presence in the room was almost tangible. I cannot express how powerful this moment was for me and how broken I felt for the sin that I have been part of. But I felt that God was calling us as a church to have pure relationships between genders and to cease unhealthy competition within our own gender. This year at Encounter was more than an individual call to sexual purity, this was a corporate repentance from the manipulation and power struggles that happen between men and women in our society.

God gave me a glimpse that day of how beautiful our relationships can be.  He has given us a beautiful place in marriage to show our love for another person, but he also wants us to know how to really love each other as brothers and sisters. To really care for a person and want the best for them.

I am aware that a number of people have felt that we need to examine our sexual purity, but it has been quite difficult to broach a subject that brings a lot of shame and guilt with it.  During the last term I led a zone on pornography and one of the girls came along recognising that sexual purity was an issue for many of them in church but not necessary due to pornography.  We have had an opportunity to be open with each other about how we as individuals have struggled and how lust is a problem for both genders.  Since this time we have met a couple of times to pray with a few others looking for wisdom from leaders of our church and how to open this up for God to redeem relationships in Open Heaven.

Fighting Sin Means Trusting Jesus

I believe that God gave me a vision/dream of how lust is a problem for the Church.  Lust was represented by a fierce lion who could easily overpower and defeat individual people.  But as we revealed our struggles and confessed our sin before God and each other the jaw of the lion was BROKEN.  We need to be honest with each other and watch as God takes the bite out of lust.

Getting Honest

For many years I’ve struggled with lust. By lust I mean pornography, and masturbation.  The familiar pattern in my life has been going to church and finding truth, then going home and completely failing to live out that truth.  If you could fast forward the history of the Israelites and see their cycles of rebellion and repentance, this would be the story of my life.
I have been redeemed by God’s love, encountered Jesus’ acceptance and forgiveness and encountered the power of the Holy Spirit, but still I have continued to live with sin.

This sin constantly undermines my faith and attempts to change my identity.  Am I a “new creation”? Then why do I still struggle with sin?

So How Did This Begin...

“becoming ensnared by sexual sin happened easily and naturally, like slipping off an icy log… Perhaps you’ve mustered the hope that you would someday be free from sexual sin and expected to grow out of it as naturally as you grew into it--- like outgrowing acne.  Perhaps you waited with each birthday for your sexual impurity to clear up.  It never did.”  [Every man’s battle]

So it started with the pleasure of sexual gratification.  This can seem harmless and it is just possible that for some people it is?  Some people can visit a casino and leave, others are hooked for life.  I feel like pornography is on the same level, an addiction that may affect some more than others.  For me it grew from “Kays” (catalogue) to TV, then magazines, internet and DVDs.  The lust in my heart for pleasure was combined with an adrenaline rush in the search and a greed for more. Some of you will understand these feelings.
So my identity has been “Christian failure” as I’ve struggled and failed time after time and kept looking for the moment when God would come and instantly change my heart.  It seems to me now that this is much more of a process and requires a daily decision to follow Jesus.

....and why does it continue?

I am coming to see that the reason for this sin in my life is much deeper, there is pain in my heart I can’t put my finger on, it comes from a sense of loneliness, or rejection, or a feeling of disappointment with myself.  This is what has driven me to sin, searching for comfort or keeping busy with distractions.

I’ve spent a long part of my life looking for others to like me and give me a sense of value, I’ve looked to relationships with women to find acceptance of who I am. I have come to realise that seeking healing from other people is not the answer, no-one else is able to reach this part of me, my need is too deep for them.  I need to find humility in my life to not be self-absorbed, instead of living out of self-pity which is destructive, shifting my focus onto God’s Beauty and awesomeness, learning to live inspired by how much he has blessed me.

I have found grace in God’s love for me. When Jesus first came and spoke into my life something changed in me. I did not realise the change due to my continuing bad habits, but Jesus has patiently led me towards purity. I am a new creation.  I feel like God is calling to me to be open and honest with you, and that you may also like to be on this journey with him.  I’ve deliberately talked about this as a current problem because I know that God has more freedom for me, but I have found disciplines for my life that help me hold to his values more and more and I’m learning to trust that he knows the deep parts in me that need his healing touch.

I could write for pages more about my journey, the spiritual battles and God’s amazing Grace but I want finish where I started - with hope.

I have a hope for Open Heaven that God has a passionate desire to build  loving relationships in his church.  That love can be authentic and without agenda between men and women in our church.  This means letting go of our “rights” to a relationship and seeking the very best for each other.  Coming before God in repentance and learning to care for each others needs before our own.  As we learn to demonstrate Heaven’s values of relationship, many  on campus will be attracted by the beauty of what they see.  I hope that people will begin to see that the culture of meaningless sex is empty and ugly in contrast to how Open Heaveners live for each other.

If anyone wants to talk through some of these issues and you do not currently have a discipler then please chat to me at a gathering or get in touch.

There will be a meeting in the church office on Wednesday 9th of July 6.00pm. If you feel stirred to pray for this and seek God’s leading come along.  If you feel like you are not in a great place and are struggling with current sin and guilt, then really come along.

Psalm 51.

Posted by: Pete Baines on Thursday Jul 3rd, 2008

Comments

Kate Elsworth writes:

Great Stuff Pete, Brilliant.

...left on Thursday Jul 3rd, 2008

Naomi Light writes:

Great article mate, I am continually inspired by your honesty!

...left on Thursday Jul 3rd, 2008

Danny Suthalong writes:

Awesome stuff mate!

Just a bit of Kingdom Dynamics:

As David cried out in Psalm 51 for not just a pardon, but for Purity and not just for acquittal, but for Acceptance and not just for comfort, but for Complete Cleansing. Although David was completely crushed by his sorrow and shame, he knew the breadth of God's mercy, and once his sins are confessed, forgiven and purged, David than goes on to ask for joy, restoration and the Holy Spirit.

Which comes to the most important part I think

...left on Friday Jul 4th, 2008

Danny Suthalong writes:

Ah cut me off! ;p
Continued..

Which comes to the most important part - David then humbly offers himself to be used as an instrument to teach and to share other transgressors and to show God's Praise and Glory.

...left on Friday Jul 4th, 2008

Chris Ford writes:

Yeh brilliant Pete, this is sure to bring the whole issue to the point where it can be discussed openly and honestly among membersb of the Church where necessary.

...left on Friday Aug 8th, 2008

Michelle Barnett writes:

Really encouraging to read. I've struggled with a similar problem and God gave me a completely fresh start this past year. It really is a matter of daily prayer and decision making. I still have hairy days, but God is always gracious and we keep going. Very encouraging to hear someone else be open and honest about it, since that's one of the hardest parts. Thanks Pete.

...left on Saturday Aug 9th, 2008

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